Fern, BBT and OPK oh my!

Before things got serious and we were just considering TTC I starting charting BBT. Back then if we could go on BBT alone things would be perfect. Every month showed temp drop on CD 16 and every month was a 28 day cycle. Things were so easy. Several months later when our decision was solid we purchased our "Bible" The New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy and Birth. And we started charting. BBT, ferning, OPK, CM, CP. So all the sudden my cycle is all screwed up. I started early one month. My temp dropped late. I ferned 10 days out of a 28 day cycle. And I never had a positive OPK. Well, I may have had a faint positive. I never have egg white CM. I never know if my CP is high low soft firm or open. WTF? So here I am on CD9 and as of right now this cycle has been relatively normal. I am crossing my fingers that I have a positive fern and OPK ON THE SAME DAY! This is our last test run before our first insemination. Oh, and have I mentioned the semen analysis? Our sperm donor took his sample in a couple of weeks ago. Mixed results but my OBGYN's nurse seemed optimistic. Apparently his volume is low but sperm per mml (sorry for lack of tech. term) is WAY high, so she is not concerned about low volume because what he does have packs a mighty punch. So here's to a normal cycle and powerful sperm!