Last Thursday we took a half day and went down to the courthouse to turn the final paper work for the name change. The lady at the courthouse had no idea what she was talking about and was sort of rude but who cares some people are just that way. I don't think it was us, she looked like a B from the beginning. After that we went to our favorite restaurant and had dinner to celebrate. Then we went to see the musical A Christmas Story it was very good. We are not really musical people but we thought it would be nice to get out and do something we wouldn't normally do and I'm glad we did. Today I went to get a new social security card and my new license and change the name on my bank account it is so hard to sign a different name after signing the old one for 33 years. I feel like I am back in kindergarten I have to think about how to wright it. C and the baby are doing amazing I am still a little mad because c has only gained 10 pounds and I have gained 15 something is wrong here.
Well today was a good day after waiting six weeks we found out that the courts accepted the name change. Now it has to be posted in the local paper for three consecutive weeks and once that is done the name change will be finalized I am so happy we will all have the same last name now.
Here are a few pictures of our nursery. We already have all the drawers full of onesies, sleepers and sheets. On the 30th of October I was able to feel the baby kick it was so cool C said that was the hardest it had ever kicked so I think it wanted me to know it was listening. I hate saying "it" but what else do I use? Last week was a very bad week for C we ended up in the Emergent Care clinic on Sunday with here back killing her she thought she must of over did some yard work on Saturday. The Doctor gave her muscle relaxers and sent her on the way. The next morning she still was in pain she even called into work and if you know C you would know that it must be bad because she never calls into work. She was in tears and throwing up everything nothing would stay down. Thursday I think she had enough and ended up going to the OB Dr. Friday. Well to make a long story short she passed a kidney stone. She said it was like night and day the way she felt. The OB put her on a anti-b and at dinner I noticed her face was turning red she was allergic to the anti-b so she called the Dr and they said to stop taking it and she didn't need any because the test they took showed no infection. That was good news we both hate her having to take pills with the little baby bumpkin in the oven but she was in so much pain what do you do? So C was wondering has anyone passed a kidney stone and had natural child birth? Which one is worse?
The best thing about pregnancy so far? The movement. I felt movement for sure the first time in weeks 18/19.
The worst thing about pregnancy? Not feeling movement for two days in a row when you have been feeling it consistently for a week.
I am not completely freaked out by this yet. The movement has been light and we have been busy at home and work so I can see how I may not notice the movement. Yet it is unsettling. I wish I could just sit here (at work) nice and still until something happens.
Sorry it is not very clear. It makes me want to go get one of those 3D sonograms but we are trying not to because I'm not sure how safe it is and we need to save money for the lawyer. But you never know.
We had our sono last night. Everything looked fine according to the tech. We are choosing not to determine sex of baby untill birth-it will be a wonderfull surprise. They esitimated our due date a bit earlier based on babys size. Before we would have considered this 19 weeks 1 day. Now considered 19 weeks 3 days. In the grand scheme of things this is not a big difference. It is soooo far away though! We have the sweetest little pic of babes profile. Unfortunetly don't know how to share it. No scanning capability. V may try taking a pic of the pic and posting-we will see how it works. We will have pics up of nursery soon. And belly pics. The belly is getting bigger but doesn't have the true baby bump look yet. This may be due to the fact that I have had the same pot belly my whole life and now it is disguising the baby belly.
Gosh where should I start, when we went to C appointment three weeks ago the Doctor was asking all the normal questions and listened to the babies heartbeat. Then she said "maybe I should take a look and make sure there isn't two in there. I haven't had a set of twins for awhile and its about time for someone to have them." Then I said "I hope its not us." I started to panic just a little. She brought the ultrasound in and there it was the most beautiful baby (not babies thank goodness)I have ever seen. It looked like it was sucking on its thumb. We didn't get any pictures this time I think that is done around the 20th week. We are still holding strong about not finding out what the sex of the baby is. I don't care what we have but C's brother has the one year old boy and they just found out that the one on the way is going to be a boy also. He is due to be here in the middle of January. So it would be nice to have a girl so C's dad and grandparents will have a granddaughter. My brother has two kids one girl that is 17 and a boy that is 13 so my side has one of each already. We got C's grandparents moved. They now live about 1 1/2 miles from us. We have been busy helping them with the house and I am sooo happy they are here. C has not been feeling so good and I feel bad there isn't anything I can do to help her. I just hope it goes away soon for her. I miss my happy unsick lady. I love her so much and I cant thank her enough for giving me my own family.
We saw our 2nd parent adoption lawyer on Thursday evening. He is a very friendly and respectable person. I am glad he will be handling this for us. We will not attempt any of the adoption process until mid January. This is because a new judge will be in town and no one knows who they are and how sympathetic they will be to our cause. In 5 years the firm has handled 60-70 cases, all of which have been succesful. Not easy, but succesful.He is aware of another firm or two in our area who have handled a handful of cases. I definitley feel confident with this group. The same morning of the day we saw him he had a succesfull case with the women and their girls who referred us. We were initially troubled by the expense which in the grand scheme of things is not a lot. But our savings is fresh and this will deplete it, so we start over again, this time with a baby and no emergency funds. Good news is we can file for the federal adoption tax credit. We will get every penny back. You see, the tax credit is not meant for those who are adopting their spouses children. Our state does not recognize our Iowa marriage. So. Score for us!
This is week 13 day 3 and I have only thrown up once in 7 days. Nausea has been mild since Monday. And I made both of my strength and conditioning workouts this week. Could it be the renewed energy of the 2nd trimester has arrived? I am not convinced yet-as I sit at the computer and look out at this perfect Saturday morning I am not even close to feeling like a nice walk outside. But soon enough...Or perhaps I have just gotten used to the 1st trimester laziness. I have been weighing everyday and somehow 6 pounds crept up on my scale in a week. It happened to be the week I was feeling the worst and threw up the most. How does that happen? If I were to keep that kind of weight gain up throughout the rest of pregnancy I would gain over 150 pounds. I don't think that is realistic but still a very scary thought.
This Wednesday will be week 14 and also my next OB appointment. V gets to go this time and will hear the heartbeat. She was very disappointed that she didn't get to go and hear it last time. So happy she gets to go this time.
We got a hold of an attorney this weekend that does the second parent adoptions and I was shocked at how much it costs. It makes me sad to know all that money that could be going to something else like savings or a new roof is going to these people so that I have the same rights as a heterosexual married couple. They have to even come to our house and do a home check not only once but twice. What I don't understand is that C is having the baby and there is nothing that they can do about where the baby is going to live anyway. I guess that is why we ALL need to vote for same sex marriage. I was hoping to have two or three kids but if we have to pay 5,000every time I don't know if this would be possible. It would be hard to save for emergency funds, adoption funds, and just life with a family. We have a consultation with the attorney in a couple week I will keep you posted. I feel good about our attorney getting everything approved they do all of our county's same sex couple second parent adoptions. They did tell us though that there is going to be a new judge in 2010 and they are not sure who it is and if they will be friendly to this matter or not. I don't know what we will do if not. I guess we will find out.
As you read in the last blog C got to hear the heart beat today. I am very bummed I didnt get to go. I work in a dental office and I already had the day booked so I didnt take the time off. I already blocked out the time for the next visit so I can hear the heart beat too. C finally told her side of the family and they all took it well. Her Grandma and Grandpa live about 25 minutes away and they decided to move back to LS so they can be close to thier great grandbabies. So last weekend we looked at a few houses with them. They have it narrowed down to two places, I think they are going to put thier bid in on Thursday. They are so sweet I love them like my own. C's Dad was also excited he made her go right over to her other Grandma.
We also found a baby sitter just two blocks down from us. She is only going to take 3or 4 kids. She has been helping out with a neighbor watching kids and now she wants to start her own. She is 49 and her kids have graduated and she said she didnt want to look for a job in these crazy times and she enjoyed wathching kids now that hers are gone. I like that her kids are not young that way ours will get the same treatment, no favorites. We told her we were a same sex couple and she said she didnt care about that. So we are very happy. She said she walks by our house at seven everyday with her husband. So one day C and I pretended to be doing stuff in the yard right around seven so we could meet her. They seem to be very nice.
Today was my first prenatal appointment. Wednesday of this week we will be 10 weeks along. The best part about the appointment was hearing the heartbeat! It makes this pregnancy thing feel real. Other than feeling like complete crap I wouldn't know there was anything going on there. My doctor and her staff are super nice. I will see some of the other doctors for prenatals just incase my doctor isn't there for delivery I suppose. That would be a bummer, but in the grand scheme of things maybe not a big deal. Morning sickness has hit hard in the last three weeks. It is actually all day sickness. I seem to beable to control it as long as I have food every couple of hours but its not foolproof. No cravings yet, but I assume those will come along next trimester when the nausea goes away. I have been trying to keep up with exercise. I have done a strength and conditioning class 2 days a week for over a year now and it has gotten so tough! Prior to becoming pregnant I was running a couple of miles a day but not consistently-maybe a couple times a week at the most. I have ran 2 times since BFP. Maybe this is something else that will turn around in the 2nd trimester. I am not sure I care. I will just do the best I can and hopefully resume my prior level of fitness post pregnancy.
So overall everything is going smooth and as expected. Oh-we purchased baby bed and dresser. We will post pictures once everything is put together.
Well here we are at 7wks 1 day. I guess everything is moving along as it should. Our Little Bumpkin is already grounded upon arrival for making his/her mommy sick and exhausted. I can't decide what's easier to tolerate. The complete exhaustion that plagued me the first few weeks or the rolling waves of nausea that came from nowhere last week. The thing about the nausea is that it isn't constant. And I am learning to keep some form of food in my stomach which seems to keep it at bay. My true first doctor appointment isn't until August the 10. They did get me in the day after our first BFP to do their own test and sent me to the lab for blood work. That was pretty uneventful. I really have no idea what happens on the 10th. I know we have to go over financial stuff and I have to be there 30 minutes early for that. I am sure we will hear a heartbeat that day as well. I called earlier this week to see if we would have an ultrasound that day. V would like to be there for that. The receptionist told me that they don't do US in their office, they send patients out for that. Well, WTF? Is this standard? It took me by surprise. We do have a "friend of a friend" who apparently can do an US for us anytime we would like. We have told all of our bosses and coworkers as well as most of our family about our pregnancy. I have not yet told my father or grandparents. My plan is to tell them before this first trimester is up. I am not really concerned whether my father likes it or not. I just fear that if he doesn't like our news he will take it upon himself to inform my grandparents before I am ready. (which is what he did with my brother)I believe that my grandparents will be happy and accepting of our pregnancy, but there is a teeny, tiny bit of doubt that is holding me back. They mean the world to me and I don't want to deal with their disappointment or rejection. We have also decided to start researching caregivers as early as possible. I will have to go back to work unfortunately. I feel like I need the adult and work environment stimulation anyway but it would be nice the have the option. We would like to find an in home daycare close to our home so we can limit drive time and pop in at lunch, as both of us come home for the lunch hour. We have a few numbers to call. I am a bit anxious about finding a caregiver who is friendly towards same sex families. Maybe I should have a little more faith? We will see how it goes. We have started taking belly pics. First time we see evidence of a bump I will post. But not until then! They are horrible!
Who ever said it will be here before you know it must not know me to well. I think I might be the most impatient person in the world. It has only been five days since we got the positive test and I feel like it has been forever. This weekend was great since it was the fourth everyone was around for us to share the news. I think I got to tell two people the rest I guess heard it through the grape vine. C told her brother but she is holding off until the second trimester to tell her family. We went to a KC Royals game on Friday, we lost but I still love to go to the games. That is one of the first things I want to do with our little bumpkin is take them to the game. I seen the cutest hat I should of bought. Maybe next year the Royals will make it to the world series and their littlest fan can cheer them on!
We got our first BFP on Wednesday July the 1st. Completely unexpected. We tested on Sunday the first time with a BFN and accepted it. Then V started manipulating the numbers and found that we tested waaaay to early. We knew that our 2 weeks wasn't up, but our test said we could try 2 days before my next period with 90% accuracy. But again our numbers were all off so there we were with a BFN. Move forward to Wednesday. I walk in the door on lunch break and V is waiting with a test in hand and I took it first thing. To our surprise is was positive. So now our lives are going to change forever. We do remain cautious in our enthusiasm. We know that the MC statistics aren't friendly. I don't really have many symptoms. I am sleepy in the evening. To the point where I could nap. I hate naps! I think I have less of an appetite, but I think that could be the nervous/excitement feelings I have about this. We found out a few weeks ago that my SIL is pregnant and due in January. We are due the second week of March so we will have them close together. This is my brother and SIL who just had a baby ( my 1st nephew) last August. Yes. Two babies in a year and a half. And she was told she couldn't conceive because of her polycistic(sp?) ovaries. We are very excited for them and excited that our baby will have cousins so close in age.
So far so good! We did our first insemination Wednesday and had a positive OPK that next morning. Our donor found out that he wasn't being sent out of town so we went ahead and did our second insemination last night. Our doctor wanted us to do it two days in a row but all of the books we have been reading tell us with a fresh donation to skip a day. So I hope we didn't jump the gun. I feel like we did the right thing for this cycle. I don't know if this is a sign or not but this morning when the alarm clock went off the only thing i heard was "Welcome to pregnancy" and I hit the snooze button. How weird is that? Now I just sit here thinking what if. What if the dogs are sad? What if I lose my job? What if the baby colicky? What if? What if? What if? I am so excited but also so scared at the same time.
This is it! in just a couple of hours we will be inseminating for the first time. Things aren't lining up quite as we would like them to but we have determined this to be our best shot. This cycle has been quite wacky and our donor is working out of town tomorrow. So we will do #1 tonight and #2 on Friday. I can't beleive our time is here. Somedays I feel super confident that we will be lucky on our first try and somedays I feel like it won't work at all (without fertilty assistance). V and I have decided that we will not pursue fertility treatments if it comes down to it. Perhaps we will change our minds. Wish us luck!
Before things got serious and we were just considering TTC I starting charting BBT. Back then if we could go on BBT alone things would be perfect. Every month showed temp drop on CD 16 and every month was a 28 day cycle. Things were so easy. Several months later when our decision was solid we purchased our "Bible" The New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy and Birth. And we started charting. BBT, ferning, OPK, CM, CP. So all the sudden my cycle is all screwed up. I started early one month. My temp dropped late. I ferned 10 days out of a 28 day cycle. And I never had a positive OPK. Well, I may have had a faint positive. I never have egg white CM. I never know if my CP is high low soft firm or open. WTF? So here I am on CD9 and as of right now this cycle has been relatively normal. I am crossing my fingers that I have a positive fern and OPK ON THE SAME DAY! This is our last test run before our first insemination. Oh, and have I mentioned the semen analysis? Our sperm donor took his sample in a couple of weeks ago. Mixed results but my OBGYN's nurse seemed optimistic. Apparently his volume is low but sperm per mml (sorry for lack of tech. term) is WAY high, so she is not concerned about low volume because what he does have packs a mighty punch. So here's to a normal cycle and powerful sperm!
For the last couple of weeks I have been watching a robins nest that was built right outside my kitchen door. I took a mirror to see inside the nest about two weeks ago and I saw four eggs so I kept watching to see how they were doing and Monday I notice three of the eggs had hatched. On Tuesday all of them had hatched. So I set here and watch how the mama bird takes care of her babies it is so cute even the dad gets in on it, he will even bring the mama food. What a good daddy bird. Its funny to watch how the mama bird feed the babies if the worm doesn't go straight down the babies throat she takes it away and tries it again until she can get it just right. Here are some pictures of our quadruplets!
On Thursday April the 30th we traveled to Burlington Iowa to get married on our anniversary. It was a five hour drive from KC and we had to do it in one day because of the pets. Everything went really well. The weather was supposed to be bad but it ended up being very nice. We had our ceremony at mosquito park that over looked the Mississippi river. The town was very neat, it had all the old houses that C and I love. We stopped at the fire station to see if they could tell us where the best place to eat was and while we were there he asked us if we would like to come in and see their museum they had, so we took a little tour. After that we went to the Drake- the restaurant he suggested. And there we were told another story about how life was before the white man ever got there. The Indians would come to that spot to get the stones and weapons they needed to fight with but they made a deal that no one would kill while they were on that ground. We ate our lunch/dinner and headed home, another five hour drive. We didn't have much time to celebrate but we did order a special cake and ate at our favorite restaurant on Friday.
We went to Cs grandparents Saturday for Easter and we got to see our 8 month old nephew he is changing so fast. He got his first tooth and is setting up and rolling all over the place. He is so funny. C and I also colored eggs Saturday and the Easter bunny came by and hid them for her. It was a busy but fun day.
We got to see baby pictures of our donor yesterday. He was so cute blonde hair, blue eyes, and a round head. They called him little fat man. His baby book said that he like to play with the magazine rack and when they slapped his hand and said no he would look at them and laugh. It also said that he wasn't sleeping through the night at six months, he would still get up once or twice a night to eat. His parents said if he was their first they wouldn't of had a second. I think I'm in for it. Its hard to believe that possibly next Easter we will have a little one to take care of, if the insemination goes well.
We also arranged our wedding. We will be getting married on April 30th in Burlington, Iowa. I thought it was a 3 hour drive but I was mistaken it more like 5 hours so it will be a long day. We have to do it in one day because we have to be home to medicate the animals. My mom is going with us to be our witness.
I went over to my moms Sunday and she gave me a blanket that she had made for my brother, when he was a baby. I was sooo happy that she gave it to me. It made me feel good that she wanted us to have it. She is an awesome mom and she has always been suportive of me but when she gave me that blanket it was like her telling me I will except Cs baby as my grandchild.
Then last night I asked C if she wanted to go on a 3 hour and 20 minute drive on our anniversery. Which is April 30th. We had a commitment ceremony two years ago at Punta Cana, the Dominican Republic. Then last year we registered as domestic partner in Kansas City. Now Iowa legalized gay marriage so thats just a short trip North and its just in time for our anniversery. So guess what? We are getting married. I keep on singing "We are going to the courthouse and we're going to get maaarried, going to the courthouse of love." Then I say C do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife and she says I do and then I say well now you may kiss the bride. I will do any thing for a kiss. -V-
I thought this would be a good time to introduce you to my family. I am sure you will here more about them as we blog. First is Simba he is 13 years old and he is our fat cat that C picked out from the pound. He was diagnosed with diabetes about a year ago and gets two insulin injections a day. Simba likes to just lay around and be grouchy.
Second is Kinser he was also picked up by C from the same pound. He is now 12 and is also diabetic and getting two insulin injections a day. Not only that he has heart disease which also requires medication. I wont even bring up allergies. He reminds me of donkey off of Shrek he moves around just like him and if he could talk I'm sure he would sound like him too.
Third is Skittles aka Mr. Kitty he is 6 yeas old and is medication free and I love him for that. He has a long story but I will try to make it short. My uncles brother was going to shoot him and my uncle said no that he would take him to his house where the kids could play with him and he could live on the farm. My cousin Kristal loved him (she thought he was a girl that's why she named him skittles)and knew that none of the other kitties lived long out at the farm so she wanted C to keep him until he was old enough to protect himself. Well needless to say he never went back to the farm. He is awesome he lets you hold him like a baby and he is so cute and lovable.
Then last but not least is the princess of all princesses Chloe. We got her because Kinser was getting fat (that was before we found out it was the diabetes)and we thought he needed a play mate so we went out to petco when they had the adoption day and found her. She was perfect so we thought. She would go out on runs with me and would just follow me all around. Then I think she got a little obsessive over me. First it was people, no one could even come in our house. Then she was kicked out of doggy day care because she bit three dogs, I guess three strikes your out. Now she is on dog Prozac. She is a lot better now but we don't take her out much. I sometime worry about how she is going to be with a baby I'm sure there will be some stressful times. I just don't want her to feel left out when the baby gets here.
We are wanting to chart as many things as we can so last weekend we went by a shop that had the ferning scopes and they said they were all out. So today after dinner we decided to go by the store and pick up a box of the OPKs. We decided that maybe we should go by Hobby Lobby and see if they might have a micro scope we could use for the ferning. We found one and extra slides too. We hauled it all over the store and then decided to put it back because 1. I'm not sure if it would have worked as well as the ferning scope and 2. I was wanting to look at our drinking water and see what would show up and I decided that might not be a good idea since the only thing I like to drink is water and coffee. I don't like to drink water out of the bottle either because of the waste so I guess I would of died of thirst and I would like to be here for the birth of our baby. So we put it away. If anyone knows where we can pick one up please let us know.
This weekend we splurged and purchased a rocker for the nursery. The reason we got it now is because it is so darn cute, it matches our baby bedding and it was over half off the original price. The problem is we aren't going to inseminate for about 3-4 more months. Who knows how long it will be from there. I question myself if these purchases will jinx us? I hope not. So far we have 1.baby bedding 2.rocker 3.take home outfit. Are we crazy? Did any of you outfit your nursery's before you even knew if you could get pregnant?
We have never been the type to do any crafts but we thought it would be fun to try it out. So V's step mom showed us how to make some cute wall hangings. All you need is Styrofoam, ribbon, scrapbook paper, and glue. We are not sure how we are going to arrange them yet. Once we get the baby furniture I'm sure it will help us figure out where and how we will hang them. Here are some pictures of our first craft project and our soon to be bumpkins decor.
I don't know where to begin. That is the primary reason I have put off creating a blog. I am an avid reader but I don't know what to write. Besides that, after weeks of deliberation, my partner, wife, spouse, soul mate, love of my life hereto for "V" have no clue what to title our blog. Something witty. Something wise. Something us. What did we come up with? Nada. Why Little Baby Bumpkin you ask? That seems to be the term of endearment we have given our hope. The little one we hope to conceive in 4 short months. And this blog we are creating is all about, or mostly about him/her. Little Baby Bumpkin.
Before I carry on about babies and conception and such, I must confess. I have been lurking for awhile. A real long time as a matter of fact. So today I am delurking. I started reading your blogs after our friends, T & R over at a story of two moms invited us to read their blog. We love these girls. We met them and were lucky enough to spend a short week in the Dominican Republic with them almost two years ago. We are very excited about their TTC process and keep tabs on it by reading their blog. So please forgive me. No more lurking.
Onto babies. I don't remember dreaming of babies as a child or young adult. Early retirement. Lots of travel. Living a comfortable life with my lady. That's what I wanted. January of 2008 my brother and his wife made an announcement. They were expecting. This was a shock. We didn't expect them to have any children. My brother has a genetic condition that made him wary of having children. My sister in law was told she could not conceive. Despite it all, shock turned into excitement. V and I were off every weekend, shopping for all things baby. Anything we thought we would need for babysitting. Anything we thought would be helpful to my brother and his family. Somewhere in the ensuing months focus shifted from their baby to our baby. "Why don't we have a baby?" she asked. August came along and brought us T. My new nephew. The sweetest, cutest baby boy I have ever known. When he finally arrived our desire to have our own baby grew even more. The past few weeks things have just fallen into place for us. We are a little more financially stable. We have a known donor who is very happy to help us. He will be a wonderful presence in our child's life. Our relationship is happy, solid, stable. We have a great family and work support system. We just feel that this is the right time. I honestly don't know how V came up with the month of July to begin insemination. But July it is. We will begin with at home insemination's. 2 per cycle. We haven't discussed what the next step will be if we we aren't successful at home. If we are lucky we won't have to worry about it. I read an article on line recently. It stated that women in their early 30's take an average of nine cycles to conceive. 6 cycles for those in their late 20's. I am afraid that, despite being armed with that information I will still become quite frustrated if we aren't successful in the first attempts.
So here it is. My first blog. Sorry again for lurking. I feel that I have gotten a lot of valuable information by reading your blogs. I am excited about making connections with other lesbian moms. C-